Best TV Show That I Just Watched

Best TV Show That I Just Watched
Parks & Recreation

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Chapter 7

This is a long one.


CHAPTER 7


“I have a life, Kate! I would like to be able to live it!” Jon was on a tirade as Kate pulled out of the school parking lot.
“Jon, I hate to break this wonderful little illusion that you have going for yourself, but there are a few things more important than whether or not you make it into the finals for the talent show tonight!” Kate was using her finger to pinpoint every few words on the dashboard as she was driving down the road.
“A few things more important? For who? For the Agency? Let’s go to final jeopardy for just a few moments, may we please? This high school senior has yet to officially sign on to the big, secret government entity known as the Agency! Hmm. Who is Jonathan Edward Mills, Alex? Good hell, Kate! I saved YOUR ass yesterday! I didn’t go because of some weird obligation that I felt to anyone at The Agency!”
“You weren’t given papers to sign before you went up in the building?”
“Papers? What the hell do papers have to do with anything? Do you really think we were sitting down there conducting business negotiations while being shot at?”
“Well, the U.S. Government usually needs permission to get you fake ID’s before anything is processed…”
“Forget the ID’s for just a moment or two, shall we? Let’s focus our argument here on the fact that I have yet to say yes to any of this shit!”
Kate turned her attention away from the road. “When you went up in that building yesterday, that was officially under Agency jurisdiction. By doing so, you must either be an A) agent of the aforementioned Agency or B) a really dumb fu-“
“Watch the road!”
Kate slammed on her brakes as she came dangerously close to the bumper of a car stopped at a red light. In a very conversational manner, she said, “Thanks.” There was a period of silence in the car as they both took deep breaths. The light turned green, and Kate laid on the horn. “Come on, it’s green! Can we move it a little more, please?” She then turned her conversational attention back to Jon while keeping her eyes on the road. “Slow down, wait a minute here, huckleberry. By going up in that building, you went ahead and basically said, without speech or signature, that you would be a part of the Agency!”
“How does that constitute an agreement of any sort?”
“If you go into a construction area without a helmet and get hurt, if the company has a sign that says Hard Hat Area, then you can’t sue them because they gave you warning about what may happen!”
“So to become a construction worker, I just need to enter into a construction site, and that means that I have agreed to become part of their company? Listen to your logic, here, Kate. It’s not smelling very good!”
“So, do you not want to become an Agent?”
“I never said that!”
“Do you want to be an agent?”
“I never said that either! All I am saying is that I would like to be able to have enough of a life and enough space, so that I can make up my own mind! If you want to talk about an extreme lifestyle that started with me being in the hospital less than 6 hours after I supposedly started work, I would say that the Agency is obligated to give me a little breathing room!”
“The U.S. Government respectfully wishes that they could do you the honor of giving you the time needed, but guess what? Security comes first and they need you, now!”
“Why me? Why today?”
“Oh, so now you want to start talking about why I had to drag you out of school? That should have been the first thing out of your mouth!”
“Now that I’m asking, do you really think that is a good time to reprimand me?”
The energy in the car changed almost simultaneously. “Good point. The reason we need you today, Jon, is because you are a neutral party.” Kate explained.
“Neutral? Like Switzerland, neutral? I’m not sure if I have enough knowledge to stop a world war or something like that…”
“Not quite. One of our agents has quit recently to spend more time with his family. He had a few close calls earlier this year and wanted to get out of the business. We think he is giving information about us over to a third party.”
“Third party? What are we talking about here? FBI, CIA, North Korea?”
“We don’t know. But, technically, the CIA would not be third party since we are financed by the same money that they are, but that’s neither here nor there. We don’t know. With you being a new recruit-“
“Watch the semantics, Kate!”
“Fine. With the possibility of you being a possible new recruit, we-“
“We who?”
“Bender, Chad, and I.”
“Continue.”
“We feel that you will be of no threat to this ex-agent so that he will feel safe with you in a meeting to discuss Agency terms. At some point in this meeting, we would like you to slip in the part about the privacy of all of this and see what his reaction is.” Kate paused.
“But what, Kate? It sounds like a but.”
“But if you feel any hostility or if a gun is brought into play, you must take him down.”
“Take him down?” Jon knew what this meant, but he paused to find the right words to restate his suspicions. “ You mean kill him, don’t you, Kate?”
“Yes, Jon. I do mean kill him.”
Jon was very sobered by the response. “What are the chances?”
“Of what, specifically?”
“That he might be selling out to a third party, that he might be a rogue agent, that I may have to kill him?”
“I wish I had some way to gauge that. I don’t know. I can’t tell you. All I can tell you is that Bob was a great friend and co-worker. That’s why neither Bender, Chad, nor myself want to do it. We have way too much invested in this. We wouldn’t be able to let our instincts guide us. We might think, just for a moment, that friendship is more important and that could cost one of us our lives.”
Jon didn’t say anything for a minute. “I think I like the arguing part better, Kate. That didn’t have anywhere near the repercussions of the later part of this discussion.”
Kate was pulling the car into a strip mall. “I know, Jon.” She pulled into a parking stall next to the road, about as far from any of the stores as possible. “The meeting has already been set up. It’s at the Dee’s Restaurant over there. The party name is Bender; we didn’t want last names for either you or him. Just go in and a waitress will seat you. The ex-agent’s name is Richard. Got it?”
Jon was staring straight down into his lap. “Yup. I got it.”
“You don’t need to sound like the last survivor of a worldwide plague. You could be a bit more cheerful.”
“A man may be coming in to have his last breakfast with me. I wasn’t expecting that two hours ago.”
Kate turned to Jon. “I know, but, if we, the Agency generally and you and I specifically, don’t do anything about this man, who knows what might come because of it? Many of our, and by this I mean just the United States in general, many of our foreign operatives may be kidnapped, ambushed, killed. The security risk of our nation may be at stake, here. You’re the one who might be able to end this in the most peaceful way imaginable. I know that this is quite possibly the worst of all bad situations to put you in, but with the moxie you showed yesterday, I can’t think of anyone better.”
Jon still stared straight into his lap. “Can I get arrested for indecent exposure of my moxie?” he weakly joked.
“You can do it, Jon.” Kate reached into a brown paper bag that was in the back seat. She pulled out a gun. “This is a Colt .357. I assume you’ve shot a gun before?”
“Yeah. All the time. I love taking AK-47’s out and hunting those really dangerous ducks in the pond. You never know. They may leak all of our national security to the Russian mallards.”
“Careful, Jon,” Kate warned. “Honestly, do you know how to handle a weapon?”
Jon looked at Kate in the eyes for the first time since Kate had told him about this mission. “Yes. My dad, as part of his benefits of being a highway patrolman, gets three thousand rounds of ammunition a year so that he can target practice. About every other year, we go out to the salt flats and shoot at cans, bottles, whatever garbage we take out there.” He paused. “I know how to shoot.”
“Take it.”
Jon stared at the gun that was weighing heavily in Kate’s hands.
“Take it, Jon.” Kate’s voice was stern yet caring. “I refuse to let you take a step in there without being properly armed.”
Jon didn’t move a muscle. He kept staring at the gun.
“Hopefully you won’t have to use it. Just take it and be prepared.”
Jon reached out and Kate slipped the heavy piece into his hands. Jon shook his head. “I’m not going to use it, but I am planning on being prepared.” He slid forward in the seat and slipped the gun into his back waistband. He then pulled his T-shirt out and covered the bulge.
“I’m here for you, Jon. There is a bug that has been planted underneath the table. We went in an hour ago and got the manager’s permission. I will be right out here listening to the conversation. If you need backup, you will get it.”
“I hear their Denver omelet is really tasty,” Jon muttered as he opened the door.
“Did you hear what I said, Jon? Did it register?”
Jon looked up at Kate as he put his hand on the top of the passenger’s side door. “10-4, Kate.” He slammed the door and started across the parking lot.
Each step Jon took, it felt like his chest was tightening and his head seemed to be getting lighter. Each taken parking stall represented another person in the diner who might be dead in just a few minutes. These people came here for breakfast and they may be the ones to be toast, he thought.
As Jon entered the restaurant, he looked around slowly. His chest loosened a bit and his light-headedness went away. He could now see the situation clearly. It seemed like a perfectly normal morning at the local neighborhood diner. All ages were represented, both sexes, all economic backgrounds, and, maybe even a communist killer, Jon mused.
“May I help you?” a waitress looked slightly annoyed at Jon.
Jon snapped out of his thoughts. “Sorry?”
“Just one today?” she tried another tactic.
Jon looked at her name badge and smiled at her warmly. “Actually, Sally, I have a party who may already be here. The name is Bender?”
The name alone seemed to warm Sally the waitress right up. “Yes, sir. This way.” She motioned with her hand to Jon’s left and he followed her to the furthest booth from the front door. There was already a man in his early forties seated at the table reading a newspaper. Sally motioned for Jon to take a seat on the man’s left. Jon did so.
“May I get you anything to drink, sir?” Sally asked Jon.
“This is going to sound silly, Sally, but may I get a chocolate milkshake this early in the morning?”
“Not silly at all sir. Would you like a cherry on top?”
Jon didn’t know if she realized that she was playing the S game with him, but he decided to continue. “That would be scrumptious, Sally.” Jon beamed at her.
“Sure thing. See you in a split second,” she told him.
“Sayonara,” Jon grinned and nodded at her as she walked toward the kitchen.
The man at the booth grinned at this exchange as he lowered the paper. “Jon, I presume?”
Jon extended his hand. “Richard?”
The man seemed a little taken aback. “Bob, actually.”
Jon made a face. “I’m sorry, Bob. I thought Kate said I was meeting with a Richard.”
Bob didn’t blink an eye. “That explains it. I love Kate to death, but she’s horrible at names.” Bob laughed.
Jon picked up his water glass. “Is that right? Horrible with names. Imagine that.” Jon felt around with his free hand underneath the table until he found the bug. He tapped it lightly with his finger. “I’ll have to mention that to her at some point.”
Bob took a long drink of his coffee.
Jon set his water glass down with a surprising amount of force. “Let’s cut the shit, shall we, Bob?”
In her car, Kate’s jaw dropped. “What are you doing, Jon?”
Bob almost choked on his hot drink. “Excuse me?”
“Cut. The. Shit.” Jon enunciated each word. “If you’re as good as Kate says, you know why you’re here. You know why I’m here. Why do we need to dance around in circles like an old couple slow dancing in a nursing home rec room at 2 in the afternoon?” Jon lowered his voice and leaned into Bob. “The Agency thinks you’re selling secrets to a third party. Are you?”
“Mr. Mills, I find that to be a highly upsetting accusation…”
Jon’s gaze never wavered. “Are? You?”
Jon stared at Bob who made not another peep.
“Parlez -vous English, Bob? Are you selling secrets to a third party?”
“Well, Jon, it’s very difficult to say-“
Jon cut him off. “Not difficult at all, Bob. You either are-“ Jon held up his left hand, “Or you’re not.” He held up his right hand to make the point. “Sell you secrets?”
“You can’t just ask me things like that!” Bob objected.
“Oh, trust me, Bob, I can and I will. Again, as I’m sure you know-“ Jon’s right hand disappeared under the table, “- Kate is listening to every word that goes on.” He had pried the bug off the table bottom and flung it into the middle of the sugar packets on the table. “What’s going on, Bob?” Jon sat back in his chair and stared directly at Bob.
Bob didn’t look at Jon for a good thirty-second time span. His eyes darted around the restaurant. “Mr. Mills, you have to understand-“
“What do I have to understand, Bob?”
“My family is very important to me and my wife and child are in the restroom at the moment, and I can’t have you making these allegations when they are here.”
As if on cue, a woman walked out of the bathroom and sat down next to Bob. “I see your friend finally made it,” she observed.
Bob smiled a nervous smile. “This is Jon.”
The woman extended her hand. “Hi, Jon. My husband never introduces me. I am Judith.”
Jon only shook her hand to be polite. “Hi.” His eyes bored into Bob.
“Are you going to tell her, Bob, or am I going to be forced to?”
“Mr. Mills, you must understand….”
“I hate to be rude, Judith, but The Agency seems to think that your husband is a spy for another organization and is selling those secrets and jeopardizing the entire country. Isn’t that right-“ Jon paused dramatically, ”-Bob?”
This time, Judith’s gaze never wavered on Jon. “I am quite aware of that, Jon.” She emphasized his name just as Jon had done to her husband’s. “In fact, I’m the one who set up the deal with the so called third party. I made the initial contact and sold the initial secrets. If you’re looking for a bogeyman, I’m him. After Bob found out, I blackmailed him. Obviously, if the Agency found the leak, they’d blame him, and since he is a family man who quit when we needed the money…. I think you can understand my need for a second income.” She smiled icily at Jon.
Sally the waitress returned with Jon’s shake. “There ya go, hun. Anything else?”
Jon never broke eye contact with Judith. “That should do it. This is more of a business dealing than a business lunch.”
Sally sensed the awkwardness at the table. “If you decide to get anything else, please let me know. I’ll just leave your ticket right here on the table and you can pay it up front when you’re ready.”
Jon picked the cherry out of the whipped cream and ate it as he kept staring at Judith. “That would be fine, sally. Thanks a lot.” Sally had already left the table.
“And, thanks for your confession, Judith.” He emphasized the second syllable of her name this time. “Something you didn’t notice while you were in the bathroom is that this place has been bugged. If you would like to take a nice look at the sugar packets, you will see that Kate Thompson has heard and recorded everything you just said, so there will be no more blackmailing. Bob is off the hook, and you just placed yourself neatly on it.” The front door to the restaurant opened and Kate strode in and started toward the table. “I’ve already had one hell of a week. I’ve already stopped a sniper attack in downtown Salt Lake, given an oral report, been in the hospital, been shot by a tranquilizer gun, tried out for a talent show, and gotten a date with a girl I’ve had a crush on for many years, and it’s only Tuesday. I would really appreciate it if you would just go with Ms. Thompson out to her car where she will cuff you and take you back to the Agency. Bob and I will follow behind you.”
Kate had reached the table now and was motioning for Judith to stand up.
Bob started to cry. “It was my fault. I quit before discussing it with her. She was just trying to help the family. Keep us living like we’re used to living.” Kate made a silent hand motion for Judith to stand again.
Jon slid down in a more comfortable position in his seat. “Sorry, Bob. Your wife is a manipulative bitch who is selling secrets to a third party that we have yet to name. Who is it, Judith?”
“I don’t need to tell you that.” Judith looked up at Kate.
“Come on, Judith. Both of my cases this week have been easy. They’ve followed the Bond formula. You push just a bit, and the villain spills his guts. Come on, Judith! Spill it! You already were stupid and confessed with a microphone face up on the table. Now that you’re busted, just put in the final piece of the puzzle.
Judith’s eyes widened and she turned toward the restrooms. Jon looked at Bob who was also looking to his right at the bathroom area. Jon’s gaze followed theirs. A seven-year-old girl was walking toward the table with a gun.
Jon exhaled strongly. “You have got to be shitting me!” he muttered.
Jon saw Kate’s right hand reach for her holster. “Kate!” he said in a commanding yet gentle tone. “You pull your gun, this restaurant’s clientele freaks out. There are tables over there near the restroom. It’s a miracle no one else has noticed this. If people start losing it, they may bump the kid and do more damage, so don’t even think about unholstering your weapon.” Kate’s hand moved away from her gun.
Jon grinned sarcastically at Judith. “Let me guess. Your kid?” Judith was muttering something to Bob. “There are no more secrets here, Judith. What were you saying?”
Bob spoke for his wife. “She said that Alex must have watched her hide the gun.”
Jon pointed to the kid who unbelievably had attracted no attention by walking towards her parent’s table with a gun “Alex?”
Bob nodded. “Yes. Short for Alexandra.”
“And Judith hid the gun?”
Bob continued nodding which by now almost seemed like a nervous tic. “Yes. If you were here for the reason we suspected, I was supposed to go into the bathroom and grab the gun. I couldn’t have had it on me in case you asked to frisk me.”
Now it was Jon’s jaw that almost dropped to the floor. “You were going to Godfather me? Drop the gun, keep the cannoli?” He turned to Kate. “Unbelievable!”
Jon slowly stood up with his hands clasped behind his back. Nonchalantly, he reached behind his shirt, as if reaching for his wallet, pulled out his Colt firearm and laid it gently on the table. “Kate, do the same, please.” Kate gave him an ‘are you nuts?’ stare, but complied with his wishes. “I’m going to give you another chance if you really want to take it. These guns will stay on this table as I walk away. If you wish, feel free to shoot me. Just be aware that I am going to try to make your daughter safe. You kill me, you may kill your daughter.” Jon locked eyes with Kate. “Trust me, Kate. I have tons of movies at my house. Who do you think baby-sits all the young cousins at family parties? I could quote The Jungle Book all the way through if you want me to. I know kids. I don’t need the gun. Take my place in the booth, please.”
“Jon, if we lose you or anyone else-“
“Don’t worry. Just make a noise if either of them go for the guns so that I have enough time to see my life flash before my eyes.” Kate took her seat. Jon looked at Bob again. “She’ll answer to Alex?”
“Yes.” Bob stopped nodding.
“Okay.” Jon turned his attention to the small girl who had stopped and was staring at the weapon in her hand. “Hey, Alex!” He called in a slightly higher pitched voice. Alex looked up at her name. Jon smiled at her and kept the smile on his face while he addressed everyone around them with a louder tone. “Ladies and gentlemen, please just listen to me for a moment. I want to make sure that everyone in here is safe. If you are close enough to see the restroom doors, please just quietly and calmly make your way to the front doors. As you make your exit, you may notice a small girl named Alex holding a gun that her mommy daddy let her play with!” He turned his attention fully back to Alex. “Didn’t they, Alex?” He returned to addressing the diners. “Do not alarm her in any way. The safety of everyone is better if you just calmly and orderly make your way out of the building! I will disarm the child in a safe manner, but we need to assure your safety first. Thank you."
Jon was amazed at how calm everyone acted. Several older women were a little jerky in their movements as they put on their coats and grabbed their purses, but no one jostled little Alex or invaded her space. Jon watched carefully as the final patron left the restaurant. “Judith, I assume the gun is loaded. Yes?”
Judith and Bob were clutching each other in fear. Neither responded to Jon’s query.
“Is the gun loaded, Judith?” Jon pressed.
Judith took in several deep heaving chestfuls of air, barely controlling her sobbing. “Yes. Yes it is.”
For the first time, Alex started holding the gun menacingly. The seven-year-old waved it in front of her, emulating the heroes on television. She closed one eye and squinted as if getting something in her sights.
“Hey, Alex! I’m Jon! What’cha doing?”
Alex smiled a big grin. “I’ve got a gun!” she said proudly.
“Yes, you do, don’t ya?” Jon took a cautious step closer to Alex. He felt like Indiana Jones in the temple at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark. If he squinted, Jon could almost make the carpet look like the moss covered stones in the Idol Room.
Alex started playing with the gun. Jon took a deep breath and froze. The little girl gripped the gun by its barrel and put the butt on the floor. Using it like a cane, Alex lowered herself to the floor with the help of the gun. After she was seated, she kept hold of the barrel and was still using it as a play toy, this time using the butt as the barrel, with the actual barrel pointed at her chest.
“Guns are kinda cool, aren’t they, Alex?” Jon took another baby step.
“Yea,” Alex absent mindedly answered Jon. She was more interested at pointing the butt down the aisle.
“Do you know that they are used for all kinds of things?” Baby step.
“Yea.” Alex straightened her arms and aimed. She was looking down the barrel.
Jon could hear stiffening in the booth behind him. He took another step. “Some people use them to hunt animals for meat.” Jon’s voice sounded as if he were teaching the alphabet to a bunch of kindergartners. Another step.
“Jon,” Kate’s voice came from behind him.
“What?” Jon answered in the same sickeningly sweet voice, but kept his eyes on Alex. He took another step. Alex started fidgeting with the gun even more, almost losing her grip on the barrel.
“Just get the gun away from her!”
“Kate, in order for her to shoot the gun, the trigger must be pulled.” Jon took another step.
As if on cue, Alex finally found her grip by putting her two thumbs into the trigger casing. One thumb was behind the trigger, one in front.
“Oh, Jon, you mean like that?” Kate’s sarcasm dripped through the statement.
Jon glanced behind him momentarily and flashed a fake grin. He turned back to Alex. “Wow! That is a pretty nice one! Where did you find it?” Step number 8.
Alex didn’t answer. She was still fidgeting with her thumbs in the trigger to try to find a comfortable position to hold it. Jon took another step.
“Where did you find that cool gun. Alex?” Jon used the child’s name to try to regain her attention. It worked. She looked up at Jon again. “The bathroom.”
Jon stepped again. “In the bathroom?” Jon made a funny face. “That seems like a silly place to find a gun. Alex.”
She was looking at Jon and giggled. He came even closer to her. Jon guessed that he was just over halfway to her from when he had started out. He had maybe another 6 or seven steps until he would be within reach of the weapon.
“Do you usually find guns in bathrooms, Alex?” Jon stepped closer.
It was Alex’s turn to make a funny face. She scrunched it up as if just finishing a lemon. “No!”
“Only a few more steps, Jon, and then jump on her!” Kate’s voice caused Jon to tense up even more.
Jon stopped in the middle of taking another step and turned his head. “Kate, if I make any sudden moves, this child may get scared, move one thumb and cause the other to pull the trigger. How about we just keep moving?” Jon put his finger up to his lips. He finished the step.
“Alex?” Jon turned his attention back to the child. “Do you play with guns often?”
“My mom won’t let me.”
Jon took another baby step. He was now within about five feet of the little girl. He could take the chance, but he still felt a little far away. He stepped closer.
“That’s a good thing, Alex. Guns are bad to play with. Because they can hurt the animals, they can also hurt people. Especially kids.” He got closer. If Jon leaned over as far as he possibly he could have, it might have been possible to grab the gun, but he was still just far enough away that he wouldn’t have another chance if something went wrong. He needed to wait a few more moments.
Alex’s arms were getting tired. She lowered them to her lap and took her left thumb out from behind the trigger.
“Oh, shit,” Jon exhaled.
. Alex looked up at him. Her body tensed. “Don’t say that! My mommy says that’s a bad word. She doesn’t like me to play with bad people!”
Jon took a step toward her. “Okay, I’m sorry! Scout’s honor, I won’t say bad words again!” He brought up his hands and made the scout symbol. Jon noticed that in her tenseness, her thumb had closed in on the trigger. The hammer was not back far, but it was no longer resting in a safe way against the body of the gun.
“What is your favorite kind of animal, Alex?” Jon asked her as he took another step. Two more and he would be within grabbing distance.
“I like lions!” She got a big grin on her face and she bounced on her butt just a little. Her thumb tightened even more on the trigger. This time, Jon saw the hammer start to cock back into firing position.
Jon took a step and leaned down towards her. “Can I tell you a secret, Alex?”
The child had the barrel only a few inches away from her chin. Jon could see that her little thumb was now trying to pull the trigger, just to keep hold of her toy. Jon was crouched down in front of her now and the hammer was almost all the way back. The chambers were starting to rotate and the bullet chamber was getting into position. There was a deafening silence in the almost abandoned restaurant except for the muffled tears of two frightened parents.
Jon’s right hand reached out for the child’s hands. The hammer was now fully back and the chamber had rotated. Jon’s thumb slipped into the empty area between the hammer and the gun as the hammer came forward and pinched his thumb. Jon winced and released a sigh of relief. “I like lions, too, Alex. They’re pretty cool. But don’t tell anyone that, okay?” Jon’s left hand cradled the firearm and his left thumb pulled back the hammer just enough to release his right thumb. He then gently put the hammer back into place as he slipped it behind his back and put it in his left side waistband.
Shaking his right hand a bit to compensate for the pinching of his thumb, he reached around Alex and took her into his arms. Very carefully, he stood up, picking up Alex and turning around. What he saw as he was walking back to the table surprised him.
Kate, Bob, and Judith had large smiles on their faces Kate started a groundswell of applause for Jon as she stood up. Most of the diners had come back into the restaurant, headed down the aisle toward Jon and Alex. Walter Bender was entering the front doors with Jerry right behind him.
“Kate? What the hell is going on?” Bob and Judith had slid out from their positions of the booth and Judith reached out, patted Jon on the back, and slid her daughter in her arms. “No way, Judith! You don’t get Alex back!” Jon started to grab for the child.
“It’s okay, Jon!” Kate reached up and slowly pulled his arms away from Judith and Alex. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay. You passed! It was a set up and you passed!”
Jon was bewildered. “It was a set up?” His jaw dropped. “It was a set up? The second one in two days?” He repeated. The crowd of well wishers were surrounding Jon and patting him, applauding, and all grinning.
Walter Bender broke through to get to Jon. “Congratulations! You are the newest Agency member if you want it!”
“It was a set up?” Jon’s voice rose as he turned to Bender. “A set up? A kid has a gun and it’s a set up? What kind of shitty training mission is this?”
Walter held up his hands. The crowd quieted down. “It’s okay, Jon. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Things are just fine. Again, as seems to be the case with you, things went a little out of control, but everything is, and was going to be, just fine, no matter what.”
Jon looked at Kate who was still positively beaming. “I understood every word he said, but the whole phrase meant nothing to me.”
Bender put his hand on Jon’s elbow. “You hit the nail on the head, Jon. Richard was going to Godfather you, as you put it.”
“Richard?” Jon asked.
Bob put out his hand. “Richard Meloni. Fellow Agent. Pleasure to meet you.”
The pieces started fitting together in Jon’s brain. “Richard.” He said it as if it were a fact he had known since grade school. He turned to Kate. “You called him Richard in the car. That’s why I was surprised when his name was Bob.” The pieces were falling together. “You called him Richard in the car.”
Kate smiled. “I was hoping you hadn’t picked up on that.”
“And Bob over here, or Richard, or whatever your name is-“ Richard smiled as Jon looked at him, “Called me Mr. Mills when we had a reservation under your name Bender just to keep last names out of it.”
Walter nodded. “I picked up on that. Hoping you wouldn’t.”
Jon just shook his head. “Not until just now.” Jon looked around again. “I assume, then-“ Jon continued, “-that all the clients and staff were Agents?”
Walter nodded. “Agents and family members, yes. Everyone at the tables in this section were agents. Everyone on the other side, family, just in case.”
“Just in case it went out of control. Which it did.” Jon turned to Kate. “What was supposed to happen?”
Judith stuck her hand through the melee. “Hi. I’m Cynthia Meloni. Richard’s real life wife and an Agent, too.”
“Pleased to meet you, Cynthia.” Jon was still trying to figure out the major piece of the puzzle. “What are you so happy about, Cynthia? Your child had a gun. I had a gun. I was instructed to kill here today. Weren’t you a little afraid?”
The smile disappeared quickly from Cynthia’s face, but it returned immediately. “For a moment there, yes I was quite afraid. But then, I realized that no matter what, everything was going to be okay.”
“How? After I put my gun on the table, Alex still had hers.”
“But she couldn’t have hurt anybody with it. Her gun was empty. Yours had blanks. It didn’t matter.”
Jon was stunned. “It was empty?” The crowd started walking back toward the front of the restaurant to chat. They left the group alone.
Richard joined the exposition. “It wouldn’t have done any good to even have blanks in the gun I was supposed to have. If it had gotten to the point where I had to fire it, if it wasn’t live ammo, you’d know that a round hadn’t come out of the gun. If I tried to fire a warning shot, no damage would have been done with a blank or an empty chamber, just the sound. If I would have pretended to shoot you, you may have pissed your pants, but you wouldn’t have been shot and you would’ve known that seconds later. It didn’t make sense to have any rounds in it.”
“But my gun-?”
Kate answered this one. “We needed blanks to at least make you think you would have shot something if it had come down to that. You needed to believe that you had fired your weapon. The charade would have fallen as soon as you realized you didn’t have live rounds, but that was the test. Then, you go and make the gutsier decision to not use your gun at all.”
“But it was a kid-“
“You jumped on Richard too fast. We all figured you would try to just finesse everything into the conversation. Instead you jumped right on it and didn’t give him time to get to the bathroom and get the gun. The story that we were going to give you did come out. It was going to be ‘Judith’ who was the double agent. At that time, Bob would excuse himself and come back with the gun. Simple as that. You jumped the gun, as it were, and Alex grabbed the gun.”
“The empty gun.”
Walter grabbed Jon’s gun off the table and put out his hand. “Give me Alex’s gun, Jon.”
Jon reached back with his left hand and retrieved the gun from his waistband. He handed it over.
“Empty. See?” Walter pulled the trigger. A shot rang out and Jon’s melted milkshake splattered all over the diner.
The foyer of Agents and family all went to the ground as the glass fell back to earth. Jon, Kate, Richard, and Cynthia all turned with widened eyes to Walter. Alex started crying.
Kate got a strange look on her face. “What the hell?” She picked up her gun off the table and took what had been Jon’s gun out of Walter’s hands. She cocked them both and pointed them straight up. She fired. Two rounds hit the ceiling and she was sprayed with disintegrating insulation and ceiling tiles.
“Oops,” was all Walter could say.

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