Horror & Horror/ Thriller Reviews

This is going to be a batch of quick reviews of Horror films and Horror/ Thrillers that I have seen this year. Some people ask why I watch so many horror films. I think it is because the REALLY good horror films are out there and, when you find one, it makes sitting through all the crap worth it. Witness Neil Marshall's film 'The Descent'. I have yet to find anything too great on this front so far this year. While they all have great moments and great things in them, nothing has really been fabulous yet this year.
Read on for reviews of Dark Skies, Last Exorcism 2, Texas Chainsaw 3D, Hansel & Gretl Witch Hunters, Evil Dead(2013), and V/H/S.

V/H/S- available on video now

This is a "found footage" anthology horror film which shows a group of thieves who break into a home to steal a specific videotape. When they get there, they find the homeowner dead and a ton of VHS tapes. So, while looking for the tape, they also watch several of them.
As with most anthology films, some stories are much better than others. They are all obviously low budget. The first story seems to be the longest and, while very cool in execution (I believe the last segment is shot in one long take), the story of guys bringing unsuspecting girls back to their hotel room and having the tables turned just isnt very interesting. None of the characters connect at all with the audience.
Other stories are much better (Second Honeymoon starts off very slow and gets creepier with a total WTF ending, a story of a supernatural killer in the woods who cant be photographed uses the VHS ploy to its advantage, the story where guys go to the wrong house for a Halloween party has some amazing physcal effects that I wont soon forget, and a Skype conversation with visitors is creepy), but still, even in these, pacing and acting may be off in sections and perfect in others.
There is a sequel coming out in Summer of 2013 and advance word is that it is much better than this installment. I really liked the inventiveness and how they tried to do different things throughout. So, for adventureous types looking for a mixed bag anthology of low budget horror stories, I highly recommend this. For others, watch if this review intrigues you. All others- stay away!


Movie rating- 5
Film rating- 4


Last Exorcism 2- video release date- June 18, 2013

Nell Sweetzer from the first film (played again by Ashley Bell) is found cowering in the kitchen of an unsuspecting couple after the end of the events in the first film. She is taken to a home for wayward girls. Some of them have run away from home, others are there using it as a halfway house. At this home, they are ruled over by a strict but loving (maybe too loving???) caretaker who gets them all jobs at local businesses. Nell gets a job at a motel cleaning the rooms and meets a young man that she carefully starts dating.
However, the demon from the first film will not let her go and he starts creeping into her dreams and then into manifestations throughout the day. Some of these scenes are creepy, others laughably stupid. When Nell discovers that she is endangering those around her by ignoring the demon, she must find someone who can help get rid of the demon once & for all.
The ending is hilariously bad and the tone is completely off from the rest of the film. This is almost as much of a mixed bag as V/H/S, the bigger problem is that it is not an anthology film. The only thing that keeps this film afloat is Ashley Bell as Nell. While some may think she is overly mannered in her performance, I found that I was enthralled with what she would do next. While the charcater of Nell is bizarre and totally off-kilter (due to the events of the first film and things which are inferred therein), Bell's performance never wavers and she is staggeringly good. If I only rated a film based on one performance, this would get a 10 for Bell alone. Unfortunately, the totality of the rest of the film is quite bad to mediocre.

Movie rating- 3
Film Rating- 2


Texas Chainsaw 3D- available on video now

While the fact that the beginning shows a conclusion to the events of the first film in 1974 and they find a baby and flash forward 20 years, the year should be the late to mid 90's, only it is obvious that after the flash foward we are in present day. This immediately takes one out of the film and it sverely undermines much of the seriousness of the film, if you can just turn off your brain, TC3D is actuallly a fun little horror film.
Alexandra daddario plays Heather, a girl who has a dead end job, lives with her musician boyfriend, and tries to avoid her parents whenever possible. She discovers that she has actually been adopted and that her grandmother has left her some property in a small Texas town. She confronts her parents and then heads down to pick up her inheritance with boyfriend and skanky friend couple in tow.
Once she gets there, the realtor has her sign some papers and then gives her a note from her grandmother (which she conveniently never reads until the last moments of the film- ooops!) and is given keys.
Obviously, throughout the next 12 hours, she and her friends are tormented both by Leatherface and the local townspeople who don't want her there. People are sliced and diced after having sex, others are hacked up as they try to escape, and there is not too much originality going on.
Dadarrio (seen in the Percy jackson films), gives it her best but is not very memorable as the "final girl". She is a good scream queen, but not much else. Her friends are not too much different than other potential victims in a dead teenager film, but the movie does have its share of blood, guts, and gore and a few actually tense sequences. It is also helped out by Richard Riehle, one of "those guys" whose face you recognize but not his name.
The film sets itself up for a sequel and, if one comes from this, I wont be first in line to see it on opening night, but I will definitely check it out.
As it is, a fun time with a few unintentional laughs thrown in, but nothing spectacular.

Movie rating- 5
Film rating- 3


Dark Skies- video release date- May 28, 2013

The first 15-20 minutes of this film could easily be trimmed down to 1 neighborhood BBQ scene (which is already in the film), and instead of getting one laborious charcater development and exposition scene after another, each only giving one important piece of information about the characters, they could throw all of the exposition into the BBQ scene with different characters talkign to each other and setting up the film before the opening credits are done. Unfortunately, the filmmakers do the opposite and drag on the beginning faaar too long setting up the fact that the family is having issues: dad is out of a job, mom is having a hard time as a real estate agent, the kids are pulling away, etc., etc., etc. They almost kill the film from the start, which is really too bad.
Once the film sets its plot in motion, it is actually very intriguing. Are the strange things happening because the kids are acting out or is there something else behind the strange occurrences?
There are enough very unsettling shots and events that, once it gets going, the film holds you in your seat. There are some cheesy jump scares, along with some very well-earned ones. The inematography adds to the feeling of dread, as though something is waiting just around the next corner. The camera also picks up, whether in shadow or sunlight, several very creepy shots that seep into your subconscious.
While the ending is a bit of a cop out (it sets up a sequel), I found that I really enjoyed this film and have thought about certain shots and moments several times since leaving the theater.
A solid choice for a creepy, PG-13 alien flick, once you get past the opening 15-20 minutes.

Movie rating- 6
Film rating- 5


Hansel & Gretl- Witch Hunters- video release date June 11, 2013

To be honest, the title says it all. If the title makes you want to see this film, I say to go for it. If you think the title signifies an idiotic waste of time, stay away. I will not be able to persuade anyone about this film with anything that I say. Unless maybe these words mean anything to you- Gemma Arterton and leather.
The film starts with Hansel & Gretl's father taking them to the woods in the middle of the night due to some emergency happening. he then leaves them alone. They stumble on a house made of candy and start eating and eating and eating. They aretaken in by thye witch who tries to shove them in the oven but they fight back and end up killing her. They have now found their life's calling.
In a very inventive opening credits sequence, we see medeivel newspaper headlines outlining their work as they grow up to become Jeremy renner & Gemma Arterton.
They are summoned, by Peter Stormare, to a town which has come under threat of witches. The duo investigates, find they have more trouble than they bargained for, meet several townspeople who help them or delay them, and they must gear up for the ultimate battle against many very evil witches.
I could go on, but what's the point? This is a silly film enlivened by some good kills, cheesy one-liners, and good acting (all things considered).
Being a theater employee, I got to see this for free, and am glad I didn't have to pay for it, but it was a fun, cheesy time watching a film.
Which has Gemma Arterton in leather.

Movie rating- 5
Film Rating- 3


Evil Dead (2013)- tentative video release date- July 16, 2013

Evil Dead is easily the most well-made of all of this batch of films. It has a lot of blood, guts, and gore, several very disturbing sequences, and a sense of dread that does not stop. I like the fact that it is not a direct remake since the characters have a specific purpose for being at this particular cabin in the woods,and this underlying plot thread leads to some great character moments, even after all hell has broken loose (literally). I love the fact that the effects are 99% practical (meaning very little CGI), so that when a charcater has to cut their hand off, you almost feel that character's pain as something is actually being taken off of their body.
For some, this may be a case of waaaay too much, but I had a fun time with it and enjoyed it.I was sad that the friend I went with was utterly disturbed throughout, so that showed me that it definitely is not for everyone, but I had a good time. Word is that a sequel is being considered and I, for one, would love to see where they take this now.


Movie rating- 7
Film rating- 7